The Truth

Let's be real, can I be real for a moment? Today our family was scheduled to leave America and return to Haiti. This was the 5th attempt to head back to Haiti as a family since last years COVID shutdown. Thankfully, Gama has been able to travel back and forth as we keep TOHH running. On the other hand, it's been a full year stateside for me and the kids. Our hearts ache to return. Haiti is our home, our family, our work, and it's been our life for the past 10 years. We miss our church, our friends and our community. I trust we will return - in God's timing - and I have no doubt the joy of our arrival will sing over the mountains as we give God praises.

What I want to share today is a small reflection of this past years journey and how the pain has turned into joy. So many times during this past year, I've just wanted to run back to the way things use to be. It wasn't till just recently that I was faced with the truth. It finally hit me, maybe God had some things to work out in me while I wait. Like many of you have found out...this year has caused us to face our fears. Thankfully, we do not face these fears alone. God is with us and He is fighting for us. God had opened my eyes to see how I can allow faith or fear motivate my decisions. Each time we were blocked to head back to Haiti, I would surrender to God my disappointments and the pain that went along with it.  God's love was there to comfort me. The more real I was with God the deeper the healing. I'd question "why God?", feeling pressed on all sides. To be honest, this has been a very humbling experience. I have seen the good, the bad and the really ugly parts of my motivations and yet God's unfailing love was always ready to wash over me and fill me with hope. I'm so thankful for God's plan!! I know if we would have rushed back to Haiti and continued life as it was, I may not have seen this hurt, this pain and the crippling anger that was so deeply hidden. Through the pressing and the breaking, healing has come and my heart feels free to dance again.  I am reminded of James 1:1-4 "Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Today, Gama has returned to Haiti as me and the kids needed to stay behind. Again, like all the times before I surrendered and gave God my heart, my thoughts, my emotions and He was right there to comfort me. There is something so powerful in trusting God even when we don't understand. I experienced a peace and a joy that I can't explain. I don't know when we will return but I am sure of one thing. It will happen and it will be God's perfect timing. I've given up control and when I fully surrendered over "my will" in exchange for "God's will"...that is when the joy comes in. 

Prayers for the Parayson family are always welcomed. We love and appreciate all those who follow and support TOHH.